MOTHER KNOWS BEST
“Nikki, it’s your mom,” Dad’s voice on the phone woke me hours before my alarm and had me speeding to the hospital.
“She’s in surgery,” the nurse informed and pointed me to my mother’s empty room to wait and pace.
I hated to sit still. It gave me too much time to think, and with Christmas around the corner, my mind was filled with all I had to do. “Doing" was my go-to strategy for controlling the outside when inside, I was falling apart.
Midway through my mental list, she was wheeled in - pale but brave.
“Hi, Mom,” I said, trying not to stare at the large glass jug she held in her arms. A tube ran from her chest to the jar, which collected drops of pink, like sand spilling into an hourglass.
It was the most offensive thing I had ever witnessed - my tiny mom being tasked to hold this heavy, awkward burden in her arms. The orderlies transferred her from gurney to bed without relieving it.
How dare they!
I moved closer and reached for the jar. Too weak to speak, Mom shook her head and lifted the attached tube to show it wasn’t possible. “OK, Mom,” I relented, forcing back angry tears.
Then I felt her delicate hand take mine - the hand that had once soothed my nightmares.
Her eyes searched my face for a long time before she spoke.
“Enjoy your life.”
The words hit me hard, confused me. “What? Enjoy my life? I do, Mom. I do,” I thought.
“Enjoy your life,” she repeated with great effort that ran, then splashed through the tube.
I nodded my consent, but she wasn’t done.
“Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart.” She gripped my hand tighter, then released it as she leaned back to rest; her wisdom poured into the hollow of my soul.
For 20 years, I tried to make sense of those last words. I tried to live in the moment, to trust in God’s plan.
But then it finally came to me.
There is little joy to be found in the trying.
True joy lies in total surrender.
Mom knew that to fully trust Jesus with every breath, every moment - past, present, eternity to come - is to truly live.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.” Proverbs 3:5