CALLED BY LOVE

She calls me Nik.

Months before my granddaughter’s sweet cry pierced the spring air, I campaigned hard to be called ‘Suga' - not Grandma, or Nanny, or MeMa, or Babushka - just ‘Suga'. 

Was that too much to ask?

I liked how the name tasted to my soon-to-be grandma soul - like Snickerdoodles pulled fresh from an oven Down South somewhere, filling the air with unconditional love.

But no, one day she just woke up and named me ‘Nik’ and now when I hear it, I come running.

Because there’s something about when she says my name, that feels like a kiss has crossed her little lips and landed squarely on my heart; like she has laid permanent claim to me, connecting me forever to her world.

It makes me wonder how often we try to see ourselves a certain way, hoping to create an identity that sticks? We practice writing it over and over, willing to make it so, but the markers we use tend to run when mixed with our tears, making our dreams illegible.

When our weakness seeps out, we cover up best we can. We slap a strong name tag on our jacket, hoping that others won’t see the real names we call ourselves - like failure, stupid, worthless - labels given to someone thought unworthy of love.

Yet our gracious God calls to us exactly as we are, saying our name with love on His lips. He speaks life and acceptance to our broken hearts, cherishing each and every scribbled scrap His children offer to Him as a masterpiece He proudly displays to a watching world.

When He calls our name, we can release what we had hoped to one day be, in exchange for a brand-new identity - a precious, valued child of the King.

Sometimes, when my sweet girl calls to me among strangers, I worry what they may perceive me to be. Perhaps, I’m just a hired sitter paid for the pleasure of watching her feed the ducks?

So I nonchalantly smile off into the distance and explain, just loud enough for anyone listening to hear, “I wanted to be called ‘Suga', but she calls me Nik.” 

The puzzled looks are priceless, but I daresay a little envious, too - for she has called my name and claimed me as her own.

"Fear not, for I have called you by name, you are Mine."

Isaiah 43:1b esv

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